Thursday, February 13, 2014

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

If your Valentines Day consists of gnashing away on chocolate hearts from your mom and having a quiet sob in the tub like mine does, take a deep breath and relax...Cine Mac has a remedy that will help speed up this dreaded holiday. Quit panting over Tinder for a minute and wipe the sweat from your brow. Let us remember what Valentines Day is really about; a bunch of randy American teenagers getting taken out one by one by a masked psychopath, with the obligatory tit shot of course. 

George Mihalka's My Bloody Valentine is a prime example of the slasher genre's golden age, a stylish gore fest with an iconic killer. Set in an isolated mining town with a sordid past, the locals decide to throw the Valentine's dance for the first time in twenty years. T.J. (Paul Kelman) has returned home and tension is in the air as his former girlfriend Sarah (Lori Hallier) is now going steady with Axel (Neil Affleck)...Shiiiiiiittttt! And so the slasher conventions unfold. After a grisly murder the dance is cancelled, but a murky murder or two doesn't stop these whacky kids from getting their kicks. Its Valentines and they need to get drunk and laid by any means necessary. They decide to ignore the mayor and sheriff's warnings and have a secret party in the mines. One by one these little fuckers get brutally murdered in the most outrageous and ingenious ways possible. 

MBV stands out as one of the better slasher flicks of the 1980s not only because it pushed the envelope with the gory SFX, but because its plot was tight and captivated viewers with its mystery. It follows the rules of the slasher genre with the utmost respect too; you have sex, you die. So if you're home alone this Valentines, wallowing in despair, flaccid as a minutes silence, just remember that you'll definitely be surviving this bloody Valentines.

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